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Tap the statements above. There is no score to fail. The point is to see the load clearly.
Help topic · You
Support for the parent carrying it all
Everyone asks how your child is doing. This page asks how you are doing, and what coaching can take off your plate.
The invisible load
Most of the work never appears on any calendar.
Appointments, forms, pharmacy runs, school emails, insurance calls, night waking, and the constant background planning. When one person carries all of it, exhaustion is not a personal failure. It is arithmetic.
A quick load check
Tap every statement that is true for you most weeks.
How coaching helps
Make it visible. Share it specifically. Rest on purpose.
Make it visible
We list the real work, all of it, on one page. Most partners and family members have never seen the full list. Seeing it changes the conversation.
Share it specifically
People help when the ask is specific: Tuesday pharmacy runs, the school email folder, one Saturday morning a month. Coaching turns goodwill into assignments.
Protect rest
Rest goes on the calendar like an appointment, defended the same way. Ilonka's background includes adult work on self-esteem, self-worth, and finding your place again, from her counseling years in South Africa.
Coaching, with a clear line
This page is about the practical and personal load of parenting, and coaching is the right tool for it. If you are dealing with depression, anxiety, or trauma, that is clinical care, and it sits with Solutions Psychiatry at psych.us. Asking for the right kind of help is a strength, not a detour.
Questions
Before you start
Is this therapy for parents?
No. This is life coaching: practical support to make the load visible, share it, and rebuild rest and confidence. If you need clinical care for your own mental health, Solutions Psychiatry provides it at psych.us, and Ilonka will point you there plainly.
Can both parents come to a session?
Yes. Many of the hardest loads sit between partners, in logistics, money, and different views of the same child. Coaching can include both parents so the plan is shared, not handed over.
I feel guilty even thinking about rest. Is that normal here?
Completely. Most parents Ilonka works with feel it. Coaching treats rest as part of care, not a reward for finishing, because the work of care does not finish.
Initial assessment: $75 for one hour
Follow-ups: $50 for 40 minutes
Extra time: $10 per additional 10 minutes
See full feesStart with Ilonka
You do not have to carry all of it alone.
Email Ilonka to request the $75 initial assessment or ask whether coaching is the right fit.